Going from one baby to two feels like a huge change and adjustment to make. There is times where I am a solo parent which means it is 1 on 1 for me and Jess. However, this is going to change when the new baby arrives. I am going to have two of them and only two hands. I keep thinking about every single scenario that might arise when we are a family of four. Things that might change, things that might be harder, how I will manage.
What about Jess?
I know she struggles to adapt when Daddy goes away. How is she going to cope when she has to share but me and Daddy?. Is this something which she is going to struggle with? I know she is a bit older as a sibling as she is 4 by the time the baby arrives. I know we are going to have to prepare her for the new baby just like we have to when Daddy goes away because its a big change. Truthfully we are unsure how she is going to react. I think it is going to be positive however, I can’t help but worry.
How will I manage if I have a C Section?
There is a chance that I am going to end up having another c-section. This does mean that I am not going to be able to do certain things like picking Jess up. Bending down is also something else which can be a pain after surgery this does mean that I am going to be unable to play as much on the floor with Jess. This is something which I am worried that could happen. I know Joe would be home for a couple of weeks however, I know recovery after a c-section is lot longer than that.
As some of you may know if you have been a long term reader. I had a bit of a rough time after having Jess it resulted in me losing a lot of blood. I have been told by my midwife at the time that it is good that I do not remember a lot of it. There was the crash team on standby and I ended up having two blood transfusions. I know I lost consciousness as a result of the amount of blood I lost. It ended up I lost around 25% of my blood. This is something which I fear happening again. At one stage it did put me off having anymore children and maybe looking at other ways of increasing our family.
Fear Of Loss
This is something which did not worry me about during my pregnancy with Jess. However, last year just before we purchased our house we sadly lost a baby. We actually lost the baby around 9 weeks in a missed miscarriage. We had not announced the pregnancy to anyone at this stage. This is something which I am scared of happening again. I do not think that I will believe that we are having another baby until we actually see them on the screen during the scan.
How will I juggle two on my own?
Of course, there is periods of time when I have to solo parent. I have a worry of how am I going to cope. Sometimes it is a balancing act already with having Jess and the rabbits to get to bed. I am worried that I am going to be unable to do everything in order to get her to bed in time. This is going to be more important once she goes to school. I am worried the new born would wake Jess up on an evening too. For some reason I can see me having to use a sling a lot in order to get jobs done.
The Age Gap
I know a lot of people who had children when I had Jess who have already had a second. Some have even had more than two. I worry that there is going to be too much of a age gap. This is going to affect how they actually manage to bond. I have a brother who is 5 years younger than me and we never found this an issue. Maybe this is something which I am over thinking as there is going to be 4 years between Jess and her sibling.
I feel like there is a pressure, because we have Jess that everyone is going to assume that we want a boy. To be honest I know Joe would like a little boy in order to be able to keep his family name going. I would like a boy however, as long as the baby is healthy that is all that matters to me. I do not think at 20 weeks we are actually going to find out the gender. The surprise when the baby is born is something which I am looking forward to. After all I like gender neutral clothes and of course, we can always get dresses if its a girl once they have arrived safety. The same can be said for some of the beautiful boy items on the market.
What did worries did you have when you had another child?